So everyone knows, I am aware I am not a good singer. This is not a “Florence Foster Jenkins” scenario here. Awesome movie, if you do not know what I am talking about, go check it out. I was bulimic for 15 years which destroys your vocal chords. Up until last year, I could barely speak. I was so hoarse that no one could hear me. I dreaded phone calls because they were always asking what’s wrong with my voice? I am proud that I can even sing at all. Even though it is super rough, I am exercising my vocal chords and making them stronger. I thought I had destroyed my vocal chords for eternity. Well guess what ladies, if you are struggling with Bulimia and lost your voice, it does repair if you stop purging. If you continue or relapse your voice will never heal. Bulimia is a horrible idea. Anyone that is considering it for weight loss. Take it from me, do not do that. Eat Organics. Bulimia is never the answer. It destroys your vocal chords while you are purging, it controls your life. It destroys your digestive system. It puts so much havoc on your Thyroid that controls your metabolism and energy. You become all consumed with food. It costs a shit ton of money. Food is expensive and bulimics consume way more than what is necessary for their survival. They consume way more than what a whole family eats. It’s wasteful, selfish and is lethal if it continues. My Great Aunt died from bulimia. I had to quit because I almost died as well. My heart started to give out and my fluids were at lethal levels on a daily basis. Before I quit I could barely walk up the stairs without passing out. I say all this because a lot of people struggle with eating disorders and their weight. I completely understand the struggle. I would be willing to talk to anyone that needs help if you are struggling with bulimia or any other eating disorder. I know about them all. I was anorexic for a while before becoming bulimic. I took laxatives and diuretics. I have over exercised. Which is referred to as ExerciseArexia. Over exercising is not good for your health either. It is a slippery slope if you use anything to get rid of the food you consumed. It is great to exercise and be athletic, but you should never use exercise to compensate for over eating. That is super hard on your body and all your organs. In order to quit all eating disorders. What first helped me is, I started consuming Cannabis and taking Pure CBDs. Which are the cannabinoids, the healing benefits of weed. This is the medicinal part. CBDs are safe for everyone including children. This is the non stonie part of weed. You cannot get stoned from Pure CBDs. I do not smoke weed, because my thyroid is still too fragile. So I consume weed. You can get an elixir that you drop on your tongue for CBDs. After that I switched to all Organics, GMO Free, Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Alcohol Free, Caffeine Free, no added sugar, no artificial flavors or colors and low carb. I only get my carbs from veggies. I do not eat fruit. My diet is very strict because my digestive system shut down from Bulimia. Other people may not have to be as extreme as what I have to do now. Definitely switch to Organics. That would be my first recommendation. Getting rid of gluten would be the next one I recommend, then dairy and so on. Other people may find that just switching to Organics works for them. Everyone has a different body make up. So try different things out. I took away one thing at a time. I do not recommend going cold turkey and doing all the things at once. It is like pealing an onion, one layer at a time. Young people please do not consider eating disorders as an option to be thin. It literally will kill you and destroys your body from the inside out. Let me know if you have any questions or need any help or know someone who needs help. I have read so many books on Eating Disorders and I was an extreme case and now I am living proof you can recover permanently. It is not going to be easy, but it is worth it. At the end of the day a person with an eating disorder is never happy with their body, so having the eating disorder will never make you feel better. It is not till you let it go and finally feel healthy again. Then you go, hey I have a couple problem areas, but so does everybody. Perfect is boring and by the way you will never achieve your idea of a perfect body if you are continually messing with your metabolism through eating disorders.
I have always loved music, but I have never been musically talented. I was bulimic for 15 years, which caused me to almost completely lose my voice. I know I cannot sing, but that’s the beauty of this. Who gets to see someone belting out music, out of tune, wrong words sometimes and just plane awful? Most people only post their best assets and sides for the world to see. Some people even choose to only be photographed on one side. I put it all out there for you to see. It does not matter that I am bad. I am learning and I am having a blast. So laugh, tease, do whatever, because I am in no way trying to show what an awesome voice I have. I am showing go do what you enjoy, post it and give people real life. We can show you our perfect sides, but that’s boring and done everyday. JediRich and I show you our whole life. This is true reality right here. Reality might be someone belting out a tune and be off key, but if they are having the best time of their life, what is wrong with that? Do what you love, the skills will come with time.
My name is Jedi Joy Lightowler. I am a writer, USAF Vet, and an eating disorder and nutrition specialist.
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